Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Text Message Tuesday


Ashley is my funny friend.  Adam is her husband.  A. and R. are her daughters, ages 4 and 2, respectively. She's a stay-at-home mom and amateur photographer and generally all-around wonderful human, and she makes me laugh on a daily basis.  And these are our text messages.


 Ashley says
Trying to keep a very unhappy kid quiet at target while I wait for her rx.
Alyssa says
aw. ok. tell her I said I love her and also if she doesn't behave for you Mickey Mouse will die.
Ashley says
I already told her that if she didn't cooperate for the doctor today her owie would get worse and she'd have to go to the hospital and get a shot in her butt. How many times can you lie to your kids in one day?
Alyssa says
poor sick baby. stop being so mean to her.
Ashley says
She has coxsackie virus. All they could do is prescribe me a big bottle of lidocaine cream for her ulcers and warn me not to let her swallow it or she could choke and aspirate.
Alyssa says
reassuring. 

[later that day]

Ashley says
What are you doing today?
Alyssa says
Cleaning. And sitting around avoiding cleaning. You?
Ashley says
rocking R. in her daddy's chair. And brushing off my healthy child and feeling terrible about it.
Alyssa says
Tell A. I love her and if she doesn't behave for you Mickey Mouse will die.
Ashley says
What is it with you and making the children think they have the power to kill Mickey Mouse?? That might not actually be a deterrent for R., you know. She's kind of different.
Alyssa says
You should really be concerned if your toddler isn't bothered by the thought of causing the sudden and tragic death of Mickey Mouse.
Ashley says
A. has been begging me for days to put on my renaissance dress and play princesses with her. I'm going to have to do it eventually.
Alyssa says
Wait.  WAIT. you have a renaissance dress????
Ashley says
Yeah I do. I made it in high school for my senior project.
Alyssa says
You dress up like a princess. You're a better mom than me, but we knew that. I'm more concerned with this dress.  You made it at 17...and it still fits? I officially hate you.
Ashley says
Hahaha. Well, let's just say I can't wear it for very long or blood stops flowing to my brain.
Alyssa says
I think that's just a natural effect of motherhood.


You'll notice our conversations often end rather abruptly.  This, too, is a natural effect of motherhood.



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