Yes, I am. But this was different, you guys. I wasn't awakened by my
At exactly midnight, on the dot, an alarm woke me up. Not my alarm. Not an alarm belonging to any clock or phone in our house. A mystery alarm, a strange and foreign alarm. It was loud, and insistent, and I had no idea where it was coming from.
As you know, I'm a strong, fearless woman. I sat up, gathered my courage, and did what any strong woman would do: I woke up my husband. Shut up, you would have done the same thing!
"Babe! BABE! [yes, we call each other babe, like some kind of insufferable '80s power couple. Not the point. Stop getting distracted.] What is that??"
"That! What is that?"
"Wake up, we're about to die."
"Is that an alarm? Turn it off."
"What is it??"
Eventually we both stood up and realized this alarm sound was coming from the baby monitor. OH MY GOODNESS MY BABY IS BEEPING. We both went for the door, and as I opened it...the noise stopped. Seriously. Abruptly, at the exact moment I opened my bedroom door. Gone.
We (ok, he...I went back to bed) launched a search for the offending piece of technology and turned up nothing. And the baby didn't even wake up, you guys! I mean he did eventually. It's not like he's still sleeping today. That would be worrisome. But the alarm didn't wake him up, is what I'm trying to say. Even though apparently this noise was coming from inside his bedroom.
- We got punk'd by our infant son last night, and he's hiding a tiny alarm clock under his crib mattress and cracking up.
- We have a carbon monoxide sensor we don't know about, it tried to warn us, we ignored it, and we're all dead right now. It's totally possible. Didn't you see Beetlejuice?
- Ghost. With an alarm clock.
We have to move. Again.