Tech Tickets; or, how to pry the video game controller out of your kid's deformed, claw-like hands

Summer drags on. There's still a whole month of it left! My kids are BORED, you guys. Like...so...SO...bored.

Boredom = too much screen time. It's mathematical fact. We start out the day with cartoons, and then it's hot and I've got stuff to do and suddenly it's noon and I'm like wait, are you guys seriously still on the couch?? So we turn it off and then 4 minutes later they're SO BORED MOM THERE'S NOTHING TO DO PLEASE CAN I JUST PLAY TEMPLE RUN ON YOUR PHONE PLEASE PLEASE!

Now. We still use our Bored Jar pretty consistently, and it does work. But still, it's a constant battle of "No, no more TV. No, you cannot play on my phone. No, you don't need to play the Wii again." Yesterday the 7 year old took the Bored Jar around the corner and MAGICALLY pulled the ONE slip that involves playing video games. AMAZING!

So I hit up Pinterest and came across some good ideas for screen time management, including Technology Tickets. I didn't invent the idea, there are lots of much better and more imaginative bloggers out there who shared their awesomeness first. My favorite was this one from Mudpies and Makeup. I borrowed some of her ideas and put my own spin on them, to make them fit our family. She has a free printable over there, though, if you're interested! I totally don't. I'm not that handy, and I'm not that helpful.*

I chose to give them each 12 tickets at the start of the week. This is because we're normally not home on Sundays, so it's the other 6 days of the week I'm worried about. Twelve tickets gives them an hour a day for those 6 days. I didn't want them to have to earn every ticket so I'm giving them an hour a day to start, but we will be using them as a discipline tool, too. And knowing my feisty 7 year old, she may lose more tickets than she uses at first. BUT I built in some ways to earn them back, or to earn extras, by doing educational or helpful activities around the house. WIN-WIN.

To make the Tech Tickets "board":

I designed the rule sheet, printed it on card stock, then made the tickets and cute little library pockets with my Silhouette Cameo and scrapbook paper. If you have a Silhouette, I used this file for the tickets (I chose to fill them and print them, then just cut them out with scissors because my Silhouette machine was doing other things and I was too impatient to wait and use it to cut them all nice and pretty). I laminated them for extra strength, then used this file to make the pockets out of scrapbook paper that looked like lined paper (I had to resize the pockets somewhat to fit my tickets). I cut the names in vinyl using a typewritery font, and stuck them on the pockets.

Then I just glued the rules sheet and the pockets to a piece of 12x12 scrapbook paper and hung it up in the kitchen. I thought about adding a third pocket for "used" tickets, but then I wised up and realized we'd better put them up somewhere out of reach to ensure nobody tries to...recycle. Yeah, Bianca is a sneaky one. We're working on it. Don't judge.

Jack is only 2, but he loves to do everything just like his sister, so he'll like turning in his own tickets. He's big enough to ask for my phone constantly, so I guess he's big enough to go get a ticket and hand it over first!

So. Today is day 1 of the Great Tech Ticket Experiment, and I'm at work (on my lunch break! Calm down!). So the O.G. is home with the kiddos and I guess I'll find out when I get home whether it worked. :)

Why am I expecting to come home to find all the tickets either used up or lost?

*UPDATE!! So many of you asked that I went ahead and made myself helpful after all. You can download the pdf of my sign here.

Always Have a Clean House

I came across this on Pinterest. I'm not sure who I'm following on Pinterest who would Pin such a thing, but rest assured I am going to address that as soon as I'm done here.

source (I'm sure she's lovely, and she should know that I'm only doing this out of jealousy.)

I decided that I should make my own, more realistic version. Feel free to Pin it to your "Good Housekeeping" board. You are so. welcome.

DIY Wall Art Tutorial

Today I'm going to pretend to be a cool, crafty DIY blogger and offer you a tutorial. Mostly because I totally made that awesome piece of art up there and I'm feeling a little full of myself right now, and want to share my creative genius with the world. 

So. To make your own distressed wall art, you will need:

• Wood. I used a pair of very old shelves that I've had in my garage forever, the hardware long since lost. Mine were each 9" x 40" (so side by side the piece is 18"x40") which was perfect to fill the huge, high-ceilinged empty spot above my mantle, but you can use whatever size you want to fit the space you need to fill. You can use old wood or new wood. Either way, you're going to beat the crap out of it before you're finished.
• Paint. I used cheap acrylic paint. Like the kind you can get at Wal-Mart for 97 cents a bottle? That kind. Use whatever paint you like to use. Maybe spray paint would have been easier; that did occur to me somewhere around my 4th coat. Also, possibly primer would have helped.
• Tools. Like, a hammer, some nails, or a drill and some screws or something. And a sander, or just sandpaper if you want to do this the hard way.
• A stencil. If you're like me and have a Silhouette Cameo, then you're cool and we can be friends. And also you can cut whatever kind of stencil you want. Mine is a shape I bought from the Silhouette Store. I used my Silhouette to cut it on regular old Con-Tact paper, the kind you line shelves with. My paper is patterned just because I had some laying around but clear would work too.
  
  You can also buy a stencil, or cut it out with an X-Acto knife, or whatever other stuff peasants without Silhouettes do. (I'm kidding. You're not a peasant. This Silhouette is going to my head. You should get one. Or just visit my Etsy shop and order a stencil. Seriously. I would do that for you.)

UPDATE: I cannot sell THIS exact shape, because I purchased the file way back when this post was new, long before I was in the decal business, and it's for personal use only. However, I have many other birdcages (and lots of other awesome stuff!) in my Etsy shop. Most are listed as vinyl decals, but any of them can be used as a stencil just like this! 

Con-Tact paper stencil

OK. So.

Step 1. I took the two old shelves and sanded them down. They had previously been stained so I had to sand all that off. I don't have a picture of that. Sorry. I mean, it's some wood being sanded. Use your imagination.

Step 2. I painted both boards turquoise. This is the color I want the shape to turn out, and it's the first color to go on the wood. Paint the edges, too.

I white-washed over my turquoise to weather it and dull it down a little because it was a little darker than I wanted.

Like this. Except imagine the boards are still two separate pieces, and the stencil isn't there yet.
Look, I'm not really a DIY blogger, ok? I forgot to take photos.

Bonus Step: Be sure to get some paint on the garage floor, your husband will love that.

Step 3. Next I nailed the boards together on the back with some scrap MDF we had in the garage. You could use screws if you want to get fancy like that.

They didn't line up perfectly, because they're old junky boards, but that's ok. 

Step 4. Next, I applied my contact paper stencil. You use the positive image, not the negative space, if that makes any sense. Because I want to cover the part I want to keep turquoise. Press down every edge very firmly. This part is important because you don't want paint to bleed under.

Step 5. I failed to photograph this part, but the next step is important: paint over the stencil with more turquoise. This is so if you DO get any bleeding edges, the color that bleeds under is the color you want under there. It seals the edges so the next color can't get under.

Step 6. Paint the entire thing white, or whatever color you want the background to be. This took several coats, and this is the point where I kind of wished I had spray paint. Honestly though it doesn't matter if it's perfect, as you're going to distress it later anyway. Just make sure the stencil in particular is well-covered, so you have a nice contrast when you peel it off.

The stencil is still under there.

Step 7. Remove the stencil. This is the point where I may have panicked a tiny bit. I could barely see the stencil, and it's a very intricate shape, so I was concerned about getting it off. But I dove in and found an edge, and it came off pretty easily. You should do this BEFORE it completely dries, so the paint doesn't peel up with it. It's messy. You can do it.

If the paint does peel a little, you can probably touch it up. I didn't bother because the sander would take care of it anyway. It's distressed, people!

Step 8. This is the fun part. Finally, after the stencil is up and the paint is totally dry, it's time to distress the entire thing. Take your sander and go at it with some fine-grain paper, concentrating on the edges. You've got that nice turquoise layer underneath the white, so when you go over it with the sander it reveals the color, and if you sand a little deeper it reveals the wood.

I also used a hammer to mar the wood, and pressed the sander down hard in a few spots to make it look nice and beat up.

VOILA! ART!

Love Letters to and from the Bored Jar

I made the Princess a Bored Jar. Why? Because the kid is always. bored.

Seriously? There is nothing to do in this house.
(Photo by Grandma.)

"Mom. Play with me. Mom? Play with me. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom? MOM. MOM! Play with me!"

Look, I'm not saying I hate to play with my kid or anything (OK, maybe I am saying that Barbies? Bore the daylight out of me. Yeah. I said it). But you know, I've got another kid to deal with, and dinner to cook, and work to catch up on, and laundry to fold, and a husband to interact with, and it's my turn on all 13 of my Draw Something games so yeah, I can't play with you all the time.

It's healthy for kids to learn independent, creative play, right? I don't remember my mom playing with me all that much and look how great I turned out.

The Princess was an only child for 4 1/2 years, and I was a work-at-home mom for several of those years, so you would think she'd be an independent play pro by now. And she is, once you get her going, but her basic temperament doesn't really make it easy on her. She's a social butterfly and if I really loved her I'd have had at least 6 kids back to back so she wouldn't be so lonely all the time.

So. I found this "Mom, I'm Bored! Jar" on Pinterest. I won't bore you with a whole tutorial or anything, because it's kind of my policy around here to not be any more useful than I have to be. Nor will I claim credit, because it's kind of my other policy not to have any original ideas around here. So you should really go visit the Somewhat Simple blog and check it out, because that's where I got it.

Mine is not this cute. Mine is also made from an old pickle jar, so BONUS, the slips all smell like pickles.
source

It's a jar full of slips of paper with activities on them. And also...chores!! Every time the words "I'm bored" emerge from your kid's lips, she has to pull a slip from the Bored Jar. I didn't use Somewhat Simple's list of activities, I just made my own, and I made A LOT of them. I used some of her ideas, added some of my own, went through my "kid activities" Pinterest board and added some of those. I tried to keep them for the most part independent activities that she could do on her own.

Here's my Word file; feel free to download it, edit it, do whatever you want with it. Just don't sell it without giving me a cut. Some of these are specific to our house, so if your bored kid doesn't have a Leapster or a baby brother, you'll need to change those slips. Or buy a Leapster and bear a male child. Your call, really.

Our jar is mostly fun activities, with a smattering of chores. And guess what! If you say you're bored, you MUST pull a slip from the jar, and once you pull a slip from the jar, you MUST do what it says! (The exception would be if she pulls something like "paint your nails with mom or dad" and mom and dad are busy doing other things, or pulls an outdoor activity on a rainy day; mom and dad have veto power in these cases and we just pull another slip.)

But there's no whining allowed. So think twice before you come to me saying you're bored.

On day one, she was so excited about the jar that she actually brought it to me 3 times. Two of those times she pulled "do one chore of mom's choice." I did not rig the jar, I promise. But I did make her clean up the doggie doo in the back yard and empty the dishwasher. And she did both. Without whining.

She's still pretty excited about the jar and willing to risk pulling a chore, because she has gotten lots of fun things, like "draw the cutest animal you can think of," "make your brother laugh," "make a necklace out of pasta," and "write a letter." All things I might have suggested in the past, but it carries so much more weight when it's pulled from a jar, right?

When she pulled "write a letter" last night I figured it would be good practice writing. She's turning 6 next week and she's in kindergarten, so she's learning a lot but I don't really think of her as an independent writer yet, you know? Normally if we write anything I'm there helping her spell stuff. So I told her to just go in the playroom and do her very best to sound out the words she wanted, without asking for help.

I wasn't giving her enough credit.

Because this is what I got:

I. Officially. Love. The Bored Jar.

If I Only had an Elf

If you're new here (yay!), you might want to familiarize yourself with the Elf on the Shelf saga here and here. Or don't! I don't care. I mean honestly it's an incredibly stupid story, so you probably don't want to waste your time. You can just pick up here if you like. Or go read something less stupid.

Some of my readers aren't familiar with Elf on the Shelf. I wasn't either, until very recently, so allow me to introduce him to you.

You should definitely start where I did, with Periwinkle Papillon's video, The Beauty & the Agony of Elf on the Shelf. Go on and watch, it's quick and hilarious; we'll wait.

See, the idea is, the Elf hangs out in your house, disguised as a creepy stalker delightful toy, observing your children. Then as soon as they fall asleep, he comes to life and flies straight to the North Pole to tattle to the big guy! So you'd better be good!

He flies back and spends the rest of the night amusing himself in your home, but when the kids wake up, he turns back into a toy--right in the middle of whatever he was doing! And so the kids leap out of bed with joy and no grumbling and go searching for the Elf.

Here are some photos from Pinterest of Elves in action:

He's a literary Elf.
source

He's a game night Elf.
source

He's an arty Elf.
source

He's a lady's man Elf.
source

He's a mischievous Elf.
source

He's a fishing Elf.
source

Most notably, he's not a Zombie Elf.

Many of you on Twitter have taken up the cause, retweeting and crying out for somebody to send me an Elf and deliver my children from the threat of A Very Gnarly Christmas.

We're expecting delivery of our own Elf any day now. We didn't order one or anything, I just have faith in holiday miracles. And Grandma.

If you don't have a mom like this, I'm truly sorry. But you can order your own Elf on the Shelf through Amazon, and if you use my Amazon Affiliate link I might earn half a penny or so on your purchase!  WIN-WIN!

Rainbows and Unicorns: The best. Party. Ever.

So, the lovely Ilana over at Mommy Shorts is wondering if it's possible to have a themed birthday party without selling your soul to Elmo. Whether it's possible to dive headfirst into themed birthday goodness and still be awesome. I'm here to tell her it is.

The Princess has had birthday parties featuring Blue's Clues, Tinkerbell, and Fancy Nancy. I've featured some of those cakes in a past post (that post also, weirdly, features Ilana and Mommy Shorts. I don't only blog about her, I promise. That would be creepy, right? Ilana? Would that creep you out? It would, right? OK I'll find another topic). 

Today I'm going to share with you the greatest little girl party theme of all time: Unicorns and Rainbows.

I'm starting with the best part: rainbow cupcakes.
Those are sour Airheads, if you were wondering (you know you were). Simple, adorable

Unicorns. And rainbows.

Rainbow gumdrops.

Unicorn coloring table. I just Googled "unicorn coloring pages" and printed out a bunch.
I do this for pretty much every single birthday party I throw.
Cheapest craft project ever and the kids love it.

The birthday girl and her BFF.

Eating jelly beans! And coloring! And eating jelly beans!
(Also? Did I mention? JELLY BEANS!)
(It's common knowledge that unicorns love jelly beans.)

The cupcakes on their stand. Should have probably dressed up the stand a little.

A little free play time.

"See? This is the unicorn's horn. You throw the ring on the horn."

That's one way to do it.

Pin the horn on the unicorn party game. Bought it at Oriental Trading, I believe.

I won't name names, but #7 cheated.

Present time!

New skirt from Ashley. Handmade, of course. But hey, I'm no slouch myself!
I made that Unicorn ring toss, OK?  I found a picture I liked online and used a projector to blow it up and trace it on butcher paper, glued the paper to cardboard, and painted in the colors. Then I cut it out and taped a wooden dowel to the back (all the way up the horn for reinforcement). The dowel is then shoved into a styrofoam block which is in turn shoved into a Christmas tree stand.
I know. Brilliant.

My husband made the t-shirt. It's an iron-on transfer. The kind made for dark fabric.
He found the rainbow and unicorn separately and Photoshopped them together for the perfect image.
He then meticulously cut that image out with an Xacto knife. I know.
She still wears it constantly.

To whomever bought her this game (yes I've forgotten, this was MONTHS ago, ok?), she loves it.
She really does.
I'm the one who isn't a fan. But I play it anyway.
Because I'm an awesome mother.
(An even more awesome mother would have covered that Christmas tree stand with something pretty.)

It's...a DOUBLE RAINBOW.
(Oh, you knew it was coming.)

I wish this one still had the candy rainbow on top, it's such a great photo otherwise.

Oh, go on and hit your "Pin It" button. You know you want to.

UPDATED: Hi, my name is Alyssa, and I have a serious problem

I have a confession.

I'm an addict.

A Pinterest addict.

I spend hours on this site, you guys.  Like, every day.  OK that sounds worse than it is.  Or maybe not.  Maybe it is that bad.  I don't know!!  I can't stop!  QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

If you have no idea what I'm talking about right now I'm sorry, but whatever you do, don't click this link, ok?  Just don't.  Stay away.  I'm saving you from yourself here.  Don't even look at it.

I mean it.  Just don't.

But I'm sure many of you know exactly what I'm talking about because you, too, have a problem.  You can deny it but you know it's true.  I've seen you on there, repinning my pins.  You have no business judging me.

So here's my story.

I have over a thousand pins across 23 boards.  I pin things I think are funny, things I think are pretty, things I think are stupid or cute or smart or weird.  I pin things I want to make that I will never, ever make, not in a million years.  I pin things I know I could never make but I want to pretend I might someday spontaneously develop the skills to make.  I pin decor as if I'm Martha Stewart and can afford to spend money on things like curtains and area rugs and a chandelier for over my freaking bathtub.  I pin clothes from stores I will never set foot inside, hairstyles I will never master, games I will never play with my children, free printables I will never print, life-changing products I will never purchase, recipes for food I will never cook, and DIY projects I will never Do Myself.  I pin photos I will never recreate, inspirational sayings I will never remember or read again, helpful tips I will forget instantly, and cakes I will never decorate.

I pin these things because I need to. I pin these things because I live in a fantasy world and I am happy there.

In my fantasy world I'm supremely organized, I'm crafty, my house is spotless and impeccably decorated, my children are well-rounded young individuals who never watch TV and spend hours each day creating small glitter-covered masterpieces in their pristine playroom and dutifully completing their adorable chore charts each day with smiles on their cherubic little faces because they love cleaning their rooms and they make their beds perfectly.  Yeah, even the baby.

In my real world I can't find two socks that match ever, my personal filing system is a large cardboard box in the spare room closet, I have a thousand dollars worth of largely unused crafting supplies packed away in boxes in my garage like they're some kind of family heirlooms, I own a very nice sewing machine that I have never managed to thread correctly or make a single stitch with, and my kids spent most of today eating obscene amounts of goldfish crackers and watching Looney Tunes while I dyed my hair and read a young adult paranormal romance novel.  And pinned things on Pinterest.

Is there a program for this?  If so, I will pin it to a new board titled "Reality Check" and promptly forget about it.  Send me a link.

UPDATE:

I started a new NearNormalcy Pinterest account, specifically so all you readers can follow my boards but I don't have to tell you my real name or let you see all the lame stuff I've pinned in the past that has nothing to do with you. So this account is full of boards I've curated JUST FOR YOU.  Because I love you.  You are so welcome.  The boards are based on some of the categories described above.  Check it out.  Follow me.

Check back often, because let me tell you, this girl can set Pinterest on FIRE.

You're welcome.

Text Message...well, Thursday.

Yes, nitpickers, I know the bit is Text Message Tuesday, and I'm fully aware that today is Thursday.  Do you want to read a post, or don't you?  I mean if you really want to wait until Tuesday, feel free.  It'll still be here.  Honestly, you've come this far, so I've got your pageview, sucker.  Go on and click off if you really want to, and come back Tuesday.  Free pageview for me.  I don't care.

No, I do care.  Because I love you.  I'm sorry.  Just read the post, ok?  Or don't.  No pressure.  Whatever makes you happy.

Are we cool?  OK.  Good.  I'm sorry.

Texting Fun with Ashley:

Ashley says

So, what's with the closet obsession on pinterest? Is there some Freudian stuff we need to discuss?

Alyssa says

i AM a little closet obsessed, huh? 

in my defense i started out clicking one single closet pin and it led me to a bhg article with like 25 dif closet photos

i didn't seek them all out individually

Ashley says

Hmm. Ok.

Alyssa says

also you know it's cool. we WASTE our closet space, ashley.  waste it.

Ashley says

Mine aren't. They are all crammed full of stuff. Not one square inch of wasted space

Alyssa says

but are they beautiful?  can you actually access any of that stuff? and do you find yourself opening the doors to stare lovingly inside?

you need to paint the insides of your closets, please.  i can't, i rent.  so you need to do it instead.

Ashley says

You're kidding right? Painting the inside of my closet would fall at around

 421 on my to do list. Right after giving the dog a pedicure

Alyssa says

your dog needs a pedicure. i've been meaning to tell you.

Ashley says

Well that will happen when I reach 420 on my list. I'm currently working on number 3...finish laundry. I've been stuck on that one for several days.

Alyssa says

what were 1 and 2?

Ashley says

Wake up. Get dressed.

Alyssa says

good job!  did you also shower?  brush your teeth?  or are those later on the list?

Ashley says

Oooh I DID brush my teeth! And I shower at night.

Alyssa says

and where does "stalk alyssa on pinterest" fall on this list?  because I think you're jumping ahead here.

Ashley says

Pinterest is not actually on the list.

Alyssa says

you're terrible at lists.

Ashley says

I've actually been lost in the swamp that is my photo collection for the last few days. I'm out of memory on my computer.

Alyssa says

how does that even happen? out of memory on your phone, your computer. i'm never out of memory. possibly because i married tech support.

and he does magic tricks that i'm not aware of. maybe that's why he's always spending money on "flash drives" and "external hard drives."

 Ashley says

Probably. You're probably file hoarders. Instead of boxes and closets full of stuff, you have flash drives and disks and other computer-y stuff

Alyssa says

we do!  we have lots of computer-y stuff.  huh.  i always thought it was junk but maybe my wedding photos are on there!

 you know what i need? painted closets. with pretty baskets.  for storing computer-y stuff and hoarded files.
 Ashley says

Oh my. You have a sickness. Pinterestitis
Alyssa says
it's not a sickness.  it's a misunderstood blessing.  like anorexia.*

So there you have it, folks!  Text Message Thursday.  Exactly like Text Message Tuesday, only 2 days later.  Or 5 days earlier, depending on your point of view!

Time to weigh in: Should Ashley paint her closets for me?  Also, is it weird that she showers at night?

*Oh my goodness, do not freak out on me, readers!  Anorexia is BAD.  It's awful and it's a disease and there's nothing good about it at all.  Extreme Sarcasm Alert™!  I really shouldn't even have to explain that.  Why are you so uptight?

UPDATED: I'm one of those awesome housekeeping bloggers now.

Last night, for the first time, I went to bed in my new house with all the dinner dishes still scattered across my kitchen, food dried to a crust on them.  Woke up, wondered what that smell was.  Oh right.  I'm a lazy pig.  

Aaaaaand...this house is now our home.

It's not a total loss, though.  I'm still making considerable progress towards the life of my Pinterest fever dreams. What was I doing instead of washing dishes last night, you ask?  Why, I was unpacking dozens of small, coordinated storage boxes and baskets, labeling them, and stacking them neatly in the spare bedroom.  I now know where the glue is at all times, you guys.  It's in the green Rubbermaid shoe box labeled "Glue & Tape."  Elmer's glue, glue sticks, Super Glue, Gorilla glue, hot glue gun?  All there.  Duct tape, Scotch tape, packing tape, masking tape?  CHECK.

This post really needs photos.  I don't think you're getting the full picture here of how gorgeous my labeled storage containers really are.  I have green IKEA boxes:

My pretties.

One is labeled "Instruction Manuals," and believe it or not, it actually contains instruction manuals.  So Martha, right?  The others are happily empty, waiting to be filled by my highly organized crap.  And the plastic shoe boxes!  I have one for "Batteries."  And one for "Post-its & Note Paper."  And one for "Pens & Pencils," and one for "Craft Markers."  And one for "Magnets."  Yes, I have that many magnets.  I don't know.  But they have a place, and a label, and all is well.

I'll post photos.  You guys have no idea.  Just wait.

Watch out, Jen at IHeartOrganizing.  I am so moving into your turf.  (I love that blog, btw.  Read it obsessively. It fits perfectly into my fantasy life where people wash dishes and decorate their homes.)

UPDATE:

Here are some photos.  Brace yourselves for the awesome, ok?

OK that's totally underwhelming, now that I look at it.  Shut up.  It's a work in progress.  For a reminder of what I'm working with here, please see this post.  Now.  Isn't this amazing?  Thank you.


Oh, and just because, here's a shot of another corner of that same room.  My reading corner.  It makes me happy.

Pay no attention to the, um...Princess.  This is one of those times when the title is ironic.