Monday, September 12, 2011

Evil Baby Glare-Off

Mommy Shorts is one of my favorite blogs, and you should totally go read it, because Ilana is hilarious and her daughter Mazzy is adorable.

Also.  Because she's hosting an Evil Baby Glare-Off contest.  And nobody, I mean NOBODY, glares like the Monster.  Especially in his newborn days.  This child was the frowniest, angriest-looking baby ever born.  His brow was constantly furrowed, his lips pursed, his eyes narrowed menacingly.  He was wholly disapproving of life in general.

Exhibit A (and I didn't even have to search for this photo, you guys.  They all look like this):

Silly monkey?  Silly monkey?  What am I, some kind of goofy circus animal here to amuse you?

Oh man.  I love that kid.

For the record, these days he's more of a Smile Monster:

And he's turning 1 on Friday.  Yeah.  That's ONE YEAR OLD.  A YEAR.

I'm busy this week crazily planning a monster-themed birthday party.  I know, a monster theme for the Monster?  So obvious.  But you have to remember, guys, his real name is not Monster, ok?  So it's not as on-the-nose cliche as it seems.

I'm making hand-sewn monster dolls as party favors.


Thank you, Pinterest.

I know what you're thinking.  "Alyssa is amazing.  Mother of the year.  Hand-made monsters?  Wow.  Just.  Wow."

Then you're probably thinking wait, what's the catch?  Because isn't this the same woman who posted this?  Don't worry!  I'm still basically a failure as a mother, because I'm totally phoning in the cake.  This is a big deal only because I'm an amateur cake decorator (maybe technically I'm a professional, since I have actually sold cakes for real money; is that the definition of professional?  If so I'm a professional cake decorator.  Ha.).  But I'm on hiatus these days because, hello, I have a one-year-old (sniff) and a kindergartner (SOB) in the house, and a full-time job, and wedding cakes stress me out.  So anyway.  I'm making cupcakes for this party.  Monster cupcakes.  I know, it's kind of a cop-out considering some of the birthday cakes I've made for the Princess:

Blue's Clues (2nd birthday)

Tinkerbell (3rd birthday)

Soooo...we're going to hide these photos from the Monster as he grows up and never speak of them again.  As far as he's concerned, the Princess has never had anything more complicated than a swirly cupcake with sprinkles on it for her birthday, ok?

Also?  It would greatly help his self-esteem if you would go vote for him at Mommy Shorts.  (You'll probably have to "like" Mommy Shorts on Facebook before you can "like" the photo.  You won't regret it.  And if you do, well, cast your vote and unlike.  It's not rocket science, people.)

And remember, this is the photo you're looking for.  Don't go "liking" any other photos, that defeats the purpose!  Clearly this is the winner:


  1. Thanks so much for the shout-out! And people— don't go liking and unliking my page immediately, mmmmkay? Give me at least a week to win you over.

  2. @Mommy Shorts
    Well, naturally I don't expect anybody to regret the like. I doubt it'll take you a week to win them over! You had me at "The Alphabet on Steroids."


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