Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween Madness. No seriously. It is MADNESS.

I like Halloween.  I like it almost as much as I like Christmas.  And I really like Christmas.  But that's another post.

Because this is October.  As you may be aware, October is the month of Halloween (not Christmas. I'm talking to you, retailers everywhere). And because October is the month of Halloween, I've got Halloween on the brain.

I like to dress my kids up:

That's the Princess, age 7 months.

Age 19 months

Age 2.  A pirate with attitude.

Age 3.  Snow White.

Age 4.  Pinkalicious!

The Princess, 4 years, and the Monster, 6 weeks.

Costume 1: Vampire

Costume 2: Wyatt Earp

Wyatt Earp, people!

I like carving pumpkins:

OK. Truth? I do not like carving pumpkins. I like looking at pumpkins carved by my husband and child.

Yes, my husband is the Official Carver of Gourds and Melons in this household for good reason.

I LOVE trick or treating:

 And yes.  I like dressing up.  I work in an office where people are awesome:

Theme: Zombie Prom.  There were balloons and dance music.  And a strobe light.
I brought a fog machine.  It set off the smoke alarm and several hundred people had to evacuate the building.
And everybody was all, "Those zombie prom girls on the first floor know how to PAR-TAY!"

Another year, another zombie.  Mother-daughter zombies!
  This was for my brother's zombie-themed birthday party (his birthday is October 26).
The Princess was 3 and she was a zombie ballerina.

I even like Halloween cakes:

It's a brain.  It's a cake.  It's a brain cake, and I made it for the aforementioned Zombie Birthday Party.

OK.  I don't always dress like a zombie.  I've been Dorothy, Alice in Wonderland, Tim Burton's the Corpse Bride, a fairy, and a host of other things.  But for some reason I can only find photos of the zombie costumes right now.  That's OK.  Zombies are awesome.  There are more zombies to come.  Just wait.

So.  You can imagine that one other thing I like is decorating my house for Halloween.  But see, the thing is, I have kids.  Young ones.  And they get all...scared.  So we've done some cutesy pumpkin crap for the last few years so the Princess wouldn't be terrified of her own front door or whatever.  Kids, right?

But this year she's 5, practically a teenager, and we think it's time to introduce her to the truth about Halloween.  It's scary.  In the most awesome way.  I think she's ready; she's fully aware of zombie and vampire mythology.  Whereas past years have been all about the princess, the costumes she's been considering this year have been decidedly on the side of horror.  (She settled on a witch, by the way, and kind of a cutesy sparkly witch, but a witch nonetheless, which I count as progress.  It's not a princess.)

Also?  We have a new house.  And the front of our new house has a gorgeous roomy porch with bushes and trees and flower beds and lots of space for...creativity.  Space for lots more fun than some stupid grinning pumpkins, right?

Today the Princess spent the day with her grandparents, and tHe O.G. and I found ourselves at the local Spirit Halloween store.  Looking.  And imagining all the various ways we could turn the front of our new house into something that would terrify and repel children, leaving us with a bowl full of candy to consume at our leisure delight the neighborhood children with the true spine-tingling spirit of Halloween.

We came home with some stuff.  A lot of stuff, maybe.  We might have come home with like 3 big bags full of creepy, demented, twisted stuff, OK?

And the crowning glory of this stuff?  Brace yourselves...

...No seriously, brace yourselves.  If you have a weak constitution you might want to turn back now...


That feeling you're feeling right now?  It's called jealousy.  Or nausea.  One of those.

But probably jealousy.

This post now linked up at the following parties:

(Howleriffic Halloween @ By Word of Mouth Blogging)


  1. Bahahahahahahahahahahaha! This is yet another side of you that completely surprises me! SMH and LMBO!

  2. Rai! This surprises you?? Girl you know I love me some Halloween! (Raichelle is my coworker and co-zombie in the photo above, people.)

  3. Ummm....does it move? Or make noise? Or regurgitate its own flesh? Because...ick.

  4. Auntie said....

  5. If you lived in my neighborhood, I'd be skipping your house. That baby is FREAKY!

    Although, if it moves, I TOTALLY think you should put a bowl of candy between it's legs and make the kids reach in and get their own. You'd get to laugh hysterically when they run screaming from your porch AND you'd have a ton of candy left over!

    I may not like freaky, but that doesn't mean I don't like to scare children! :-)

  6. It doesn't move. That would cross a line, don't you think? :)

    @momnextdoor, if you lived in my neighborhood you wouldn't skip my house, you'd come right up to the front door and practically trip over Zombie Baby (I think we're going to call him Gnarles) because he's very small, like babies tend to be, and also kind of camouflaged with his dirty face and grungy clothes, and then you'd look down as you rang the doorbell and see little Gnarles grinning up at you with his bloody teeth and it would be too late because if he was real you would be dead. But he's not! He's made of rubber. So you won'd die, unless you have a heart attack, which I admit is a real possibility. I may have to have trick-or-treaters sign waivers before entering my yard.

  7. well? did he let you put him outside? Can i post pictures on here? because i got a great one of you cradling Gnarl as if he were your own flesh and blood. AND when we went costume shopping yesterday A asked if we could buy our own Zombie baby. As if that were a NORMAL thing to own.

  8. and yes, I called him Gnarl. That's my special nickname for him.

  9. Ashley you need to send me those photos NOW. i did ask you today for my baby photos! Oh... did you think I meant my son??

    Don't worry. I'll get A. her own zombie baby. She does have a birthday coming up.

  10. Also we're kind of afraid to put him outside because hello? Who WOULDN'T want to steal him?? So he's safe in the living room until the big night, I guess. But the porch is decorated and spider webbed and ready for him.

  11. Oh my gosh you are Halloween crazy. I have never liked Halloween because I am a wimp as in, won't even go down the mask aisle wimp. Hope you join our Halloween picture link up, it starts next weekend.

  12. O.M.G! That is... I have no words. Wait -- yes I do... That is hilariously disturbing! I'm not sure if i wanna laugh or cringe. Well... actually I did both. It's like one of those things you can't stop looking at! Thanks for the nightmares tonight! ;^)

  13. btw... your kids are waaayyy cuter than that foot gnarling baby!

  14. Ha!! Um, thank you? Although I'm not sure how much of a compliment it is when somebody tells you "your children are cuter than a reanimated corpse consuming its own rotting flesh." LOL! Why yes, yes they are. ;)

  15. Did you read all the way to the end? I did warn you to turn back if you were a wimp! :)

    I'd love to link up. Where do I go?? I checked your blog and didn't see anything...

  16. Sorry, the link up starts on Saturday. If you look on my sidebar there is a button you can grab. We have lots of great prizes to giveaway for anyone who joins so it should be fun.

  17. OMG Love the paci costumes. Also, I don't think I'd eat a brain cake. Thank you so much for linking up!

  18. Hey, that brain cake was GOOD. The left brain was vanilla, the right brain chocolate. Get it?? Because left-brained people are totally boring, obviously. And I don't know about you but for me chocolate and creativity go hand in hand. :)

    Thanks for stopping by!

  19. Oh my, fabulous!

    Ad Pinkalicious! You so stole my heart with Pinkaloicious!

  20. Thanks, Galit! And yes, Pinkalicious is my favorite too. :) Pink, pink, pink! My kids would be book characters every year if I could get them to go along with it.

  21. I can't decide what part I love most about this post. Just. All of it.
    I do REALLY love that your 3yo princess lovin' daughter was game to be a zombie though. That girl is just cool.
    Loved this post. Following you now.

  22. Thank you so much! And yes, my little girl is super cool. :) She loved her zombie ballerina look. Her only requirement was "no blood. that's asGUSTING, mama."

  23. There are no words - lol!
    Loving sharing everyones halloween posts - so cute. Great pics! and a big BOO to you ;)

  24. Still waiting for pics of the pumpkin you painted.

  25. WOW! You totally dig Halloween! I love it! Though that last pic was nearly my undoing....nearly.

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